Proboscis

Your writing and anatomy both need a lot of work. You're overexplaining a lot of things; if something is obvious from a picture you don't need to describe it as much. Think what new information an audience is being given from what you're saying, and if that information is interesting to learn. If it's not, cut it.

The anatomy at the end was... I like diverse body types, but not in the way that it looked like six different people were mashed together. The belly and abdominals were separated and entirely disconnected from the skeleton, going in random directions.

Concept was cool though, the character was cute, the moth monster was good, and I really liked the pixel preview before the art load in. It really helped with the pacing and it was a clever touch.